Wetwendi

I once had a BDSM guy wanting to talk with me here and we tried to talk but his kink was to say how he needed to be fucked well and how his girlfriend wasn’t “doing it” for him. I can get a bit kinky butI just can’t break people down. I kinda playfully made it being like, “you haven’t taught her yet” “why haven’t you showed her what you like” but he kept doubling down on it. The crazy thing is I once was that girl.  The first guy I ever was intimate with who pressure me and convinced me with his ‘logic’ why it wasn’t big deal after 6 months of being intimate with me told me he hated everything I did. I remember spending the next half a year just seeking out to talk with others to understand better everything short of actually getting someone to teach me. It got to the point though he would purposely jack off without me so he wasn’t horny with me. This is the one who brought me into being intimate and would tell me how I did afterwards and I would eagerly want his approval and hated myself more and more. It truly fucked me up.  Even to this day I can feel that anxiety and sometimes have to take my time with new lover to get to feel safe and comfortable. Now after decades of experience I know what I’m good at and always just take on any lover with curiosity and exploration. Naturally just seeing what makes them tick and just inspiration of the moment. So when presented with a person trying to get off, being like, “oh my partner is shit” I just couldn’t for the heart of me get in it.  If I ever have someone ask me about that kind of situation you either work how you two like to be pleasured or you guys don’t gel. I hear these are kinks but my heart just goes back to that 20 year old girl who was trying to figure out sexuality that she had very much repressed with a lover who lied and wouldn’t help her and the depths I let myself down by staying.

Submission is such a fun and powerful thing. To me though the hottest submission isn't by force but of free will. To have someone that wants you to take them that opens themselves up to your embrace and your creativity. To look deep into their eyes and see the desire, the deep craving to be yours and them willing not to hide it anymore. That's hot. Not some vic.tim. Not some broken spirit. I've been broken but there's always a piece of me that lingers on. It brings me back up from the depths and anyone trying to break that will see it always rise again. So for me submission is about a desire to be desired. It is wanting to be felt and feel what someone else has for you. It's fun and exciting and should be thoroughly enjoyed.

How I feel after a good session... "Whatever" by Jill Scott

"I want you" - Erykah Badu NSFW

So I have been trying to post some photos on here, I know they want videos but that's not what i'm looking for, the photos though never get approved off my cell. Anyone else have trouble with this?

I'm feeling quite dru.nk with all this attention. My goodness. Like it's hard to think or feel stressed. I'm just getting hits of sexual talk and thoughts and I'm just floating through it. Even hanging out at work or looking at a message while with fa.m.ily. It's like being hi.gh, though I've only ever been d.runk... Whoa

I do enjoy switching it up. I enjoy being the sub who eagerly waits for approval and encouragement. Praise talk does me over for sure. I tried calling a guy Daddy for the first time in a sext a few days ago and it was pretty fun. Though after having a relationship with a guy who really did control every aspect of my lif.e I can only go so deep into it. I will always come back around wanting to dom.inate for a bit and get to see and stre.tch my con.trol and feel the look of los.ing it. That's what I truly love. We are both suc.ker for each other, the Dom is just as much invested, turned on, intoxi.cated with seeing the others pleasure. We both are do.ne for. We both sub.mit to each other. It's fun letting each other lead and play into it. I can't get over how hard and excited I hear a lover get with me calling them Dad.dy. I'm acting sub but I'm like, I'm fucking you up. It's like shots in a fight. Right to the heart, to their mind, let's find all those buttons and have fun pressings each other's.

Wow I really need to make a vision board or a goal chart. All this porn and message got me obsessed. I barely want to do anything else. It's hard though the more messages the more I want the real life experience and that is a bit dangerous with people online and I'm not a one night stand person. Couldn't trust someone to get that close. I don't know hopefully all this pent up release will give me some calm...